"ESFJ" Themes and Relationships
By Linda V. Berens Ph.D. and Dario Nardi Ph.D.
||ESFJ - Facilitator Caretaker
|Likely Social Style:
- Theme is providing, ensuring that physical
needs are met.
- Talents lie in supporting
others and supplying them with what
- Genuinely concerned about
the welfare of others, making sure they
are comfortable and involved.
their sociability to nurture established
- Warm, considerate,
- Want to please
and maintain harmonious relationships.
- Thrive on helping others and bringing
Themes and Relationships
for each Personality Type
by Linda V. Berens, Ph.D.
Dario Nardi, Ph.D.**
For Facilitator Caretakers, life is a process of accepting
and helping others. They enjoy friendly conversations
where information—personal and professional—is
exchanged to get to know people better. Managing
people, at work or at home, is rewarding, even when
difficult. They spend a lot of time hearing people out,
voicing concerns, and accommodating needs. They
genuinely admire the success of everyone and take great
pride in the successes of their friends, family, and others
in their circle. If they can help them along the way,
giving them support and making things easier, they are
truly satisfied. To not have contact with people and a
sense of belonging is to be cut off from that which truly
Their thought processes tend to be relational and
sequential. They remember what’s important for the
family, the work group, and the community. It is as if they
have a filing cabinet of all the specific details they’ve ever
learned about the people they know so they can find that
information easily to help others, to connect others, and
to make them comfortable. The stories they tell about the
people they know keep everybody in touch. This talent
makes them the quintessential hosts.
In the interpersonal realm, they strive to keep life
pleasant, often setting aside their own needs to provide
for others and avoid conflict. This can become a problem
when others don’t give back some of the care and
consideration given. Above all they want to maintain
a sense of continuity in their relationships, their family,
their business, or the community. Often that continuity
is maintained by accounting for costs and protecting
resources. Organizing, preparing, and remembering
important events show they care just as much as the
thoughtful acts they do. These also provide a sense of
security and independence.
They are often disappointed by entrepreneurial
projects. Sometimes in their desire to help others and be
creative, they find themselves stuck doing a lot of hard
work with not enough coming back to them.
For Facilitator Caretakers, relationships are about
doing things for each other—sharing a life and caring.
Even business relationships are about sharing the life
of a business, being a part of something, and creating
a feeling of family. They like helping people build
something in their lives, whether as friend, parent, or
helpmate. Going the extra mile, sacrificing for what
will benefit others, and understanding the other person
are very important. Often they put the needs of the
other person ahead of their own needs, and they can lose
themselves to the relationship, often feeling somewhat
used. They are very aware of hurting people’s feelings
and so may skirt heavy issues. They like listening and
helping people with their problems and being very
involved. If they have too many loyalties, they may give
too much of themselves and stretch themselves too thin.
They usually have lots of personal relationships and
friends, enjoying lots of interaction.
In their close relationships, they tend toward the
traditionally romantic yet spontaneous. Thoughtful
gestures, time together, and mutual support are all
important. They will have expectations about building
something together, working toward a comfortable life,
raising a family, or retirement. Sometimes it can be
very difficult to get them to confront and move beyond
bad relationships because they are so good at smoothing
over conflict. They like a gregarious lifestyle and can
be very supportive in extending hospitality and bringing
This concludes "Themes and Relationships for ESFJ,"
A Personality Type Description.
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